Update :))

Not much has really been happening this week. Major study week... Its crazy how it is only the third week and i feel so swamped with uni work already. :(( Stress Overload


But i am taking breaks and relaxing and keeping my life balanced with study and friends and that stuff, I am eating right and all that so its all good, Just a little sleep deprived, which is making me feel like I want to burst into tears.

That could also be because it has been a roller coaster of a week.
All starting with David rocking up at my door to stubbing my toe on my bed.

Do you know what annoys me about My feelings with David, It yes it is true, when i told him that i didnt have romantic feelings for him, i was telling the truth, and I know i cant tell him this now because he has a girlfriend and he loves her and whatever, but somewhere along the lines i have developed feelings, and i know that we could never be in a relationship because we are just to different, but that doesnt mean i am any jealous of him. Yh. This sucks.

I brought a new samsung galaxy tab 2... its pretty amazing, I am so in love with it. lol Its everything i thought it would be and more. lol. And today i brought coconut M&Ms LOVE THEM!!! lol. They are pretty amazing. lol.

I am really just babbling cos i dont really wanna write this essay lol.
I am totally the Procrastination Queen. :p

Looking foward to going home next weekend, I am a little over the city and just want to see some stars... That and i miss my cuddles and my bed. :p


I miss my best friend

One thing i dislike about living in perth, is you just cant go walking on a friday night... I miss that about the country, being able to go for a walk when ever you feel like it. Cant do that in the city, Sadface. :P

I happen to like the stars...


Hmm, I should really get back to my essay,

<3 you guys!!!

Speak Kind Words Xx

Jess Xx

Sorryyy

I am so so so busy!!

SO sorry its been over a week guys, This new course is so crazy and I have been busy with my brain... Sounds weird hey, but all that thinking and stuff that the brain does. Also as i write this, I am in so much pain, I just did 10 hours of walking with out stopping... in flats.... Not cool. Its funny though, I went all day walking, and i wasnt in much pain, but as soon as i got home and rested for a few minutes. Boom!! PAIN!! Oh, Wait... swelling has accured, Im to afraid to try and stand, I know this pain... Achilles... I bet i aggrivated on of those stupid micro tears that wont heal. Damn, Bandage and Pain killers here we come!!!


Anyways, Ignoring this pain, I absolutly love my new uni course. I am loving the people I am meeting, and the content that I am learning. I cant believe I am finally where I want to be, I mean when I look back on where i have been, it is so rewarding knowing that i am finally where i want to be. :)

I really do love where i am, I mean I have the most AMAZING Daddy, whom i am so glad to have, and i know he will always be here for me. <3 I love You so Much Daddy!!! The rest of my Family is som great to me, and I know that they will be with me through thick and thin, i am so grateful to have them in my life. I have the most amazing SISTER ever. I am so lucky to still have her in my life after everything that we have been through, i never thought we would come out this strong, But we have and I admire her strength in everyhting she does. I mean, she puts up with my shit all the time!!! Shanae, you are amazing, and I probably wouldnt be here if it wernt for you and how much you have cared for me, your strength has pulled me through, an even though you are shorter than me, I still look up to you and admire you!!

But what i think is most important is how much i am at peace with myself now. I dont crae if i weigh 65 kgs, or my face has a few pimples on it, or that i havnt washed my hair in a few days, or even the fact the clothes i wear are all mix matched, I LOVE me, Andi have realised I am not actually here to make sure everyone else is well, without making sure that i am well first! It is time that i took control of my life and live it the way i want and not the way everyone else wants to. 

OMGOSH!!!

I caught up with Holly (a girl i did the Uni Prep course with) today in the city, thats one of the reasons we walked for 10 hours, well she left early, then i caught up with another friend, But we had such a good time, its so good to just be able to catch up with friends hassel free and not have to worry about anything, SO AMAZING. Holly is pretty amazing!! Such a funny and cool chick!! Also seen a frined from high school, Jordan, He is pretty coooool, Holly and Jordan got on really well, So amazing, :) its also good when a friend from one circle gets along with a friend form another circle. My friends are awesome!!!

But I love Penny!!! She is truly amazing!! She is teh friend i have my intellectual convosations with, and we can talk about anything and everything. Its great to have that person you can do that with, And it doesntmatter if we agree or disagree on things, cos we both understand that people have the different opinions, But we mostly agree on things, Yay.. We just need to catch up more :)))

What else has been going on.... OMGOSH!!! MEN.. They are so goddam frustrating.. (and yet, i am wanting a boyfie...) David and i have been argueing... 

• Jessica -  Okay, So Mayne, Tahlia  and myself see each other at uni all the time, Robert has given up and obvousily doesnt care about any of our friendships, David never replies to my textx anymore and therefore I have conculded that when he said that he still wanted to be friends and hang out/catch up he was lying, So Holly, If you would ever liek to catch up with me, Text me when ever, Weekend, Monday or Wednesday and i will gladly come and hang out. As for David and Robert it was great knowing you guys, even better knowing what my friendship meant to you... See ya all on the flip side

  23 hours ago · 
• 
  

  David Heath - What the heck?

  23 hours ago via mobile · 
• 
  

  David Heath - We can go tomorrow night or something. Managing church, uni, my own business, and work leaves me with less time. I reply to texts :O sorry?

  23 hours ago via mobile · 
• 
  

  David Heath - I'm at Mt lawley campus not at joondalup. I called you last week to ask for coffee but you were busy at campus...

  23 hours ago via mobile · 
• Jessica Matthews - Personally i find it pretty simple to understand. And No you dont reply to my texts... The last two texts i sent you were, "sorry wrong person, how you been" and "Hey Sorrry i missed your birthday, hope you had a good day, what you been up to" (paraphrased) And you replied to neither and it has now been 3 days..
  
  And well I cant do tomorrow night. And I know you are at the mount lawley campus, And wow, Last week, im pretty sure isnt the same as this week.
  
  Another thing,, Why is it always me txting you first, I get your busy with Church, uni, your business and work, Oh and I guess you forgot your Girlfriend....
  You were the one who said that you still wanted to be frineds, and yes i still wanted to be friends with you, but man i didnt know i was going to be the one who had to keep the relationship going

  22 hours ago · 
• 
  

  Holly Mercer - Wow... okay. Let's all calm down please. We are all really busy with our new schedules. And It is going to stay hard because we are all going down different roads. I don't want to see anyone fight.
  
  And Jess What are you doing tomorrow? Want to meet in the city? We really need to catch up :)

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Thats a copy and paste from facebook, And it probably would have kept going if holly didnt post, But once again, he didnt reply, Even though its not a text message we were wtill having a conversation and he just completely ignores me... He still hasnt replied to it... Probably wont... 

  
  

  But any I texted him today, and said that holly and i were going to go to the city if he wanted to come... but he couldnt cos he was hanging out with his girlfriend. Then in the same message he says to me, that i need to give him a break and that he isnt the enemy.. And that he is just really busy.. He also asked if i wanted to go to the movies (even though i already told him i was busy....) 

  
  

  I replied with i already said that i was busy, and then asked how hard is it to write a four word text "im busy, talk later"

  
  

  he replied with "Your right, Im horrible. Sorry" 

  
  

  I was so over his shit, i mean, why is it always me asking everyone to come and hang out, he has rang me once to asked if i wantwed to hang out,but i was busy, he hasnt rang or called again.....

  
  

  I just reokied with Oh. My. God!

  
  

  he hasnt replied...

  
  

  Ironic right....

  
  

  
  

  Anyways, As much as i am over men and their stupity, I really want a boyfie... I miss the cute morning texts, the hugs, the random flowers, and the feeling of being loved and needed. 

  
  

  
  

  Well I am pretty sur eyou are all sick of reading me complain about my life right now, I shall let you go and enjoy what you were doing before..

  
  

  

  
  

  Speak Kind Words Xx

  
  

  Jess

  
  

It Has Been A Long Week!!

Wow, I am so tired!

This week has been so long but has gone so fast at the same time.

My new course at uni looks really fun and I have met many new people.

This is only going to be a quick update on things, because I am rather tired, but I am also going to visit my Daddy this weekend, and still havnt packed or anything and im leaving in a hour or so. :P

There isnt really much to say. So I am going to leave you all with another poem.

I hope you all Like it, and I hope you all have a windrful weekend!! I shall write again soon

Speak Kind Words Xx
Jess

Pause

Just for one moment I wish my life was paused,

So I can give you a congratulations for all the damage you caused.

You cannot see what he did, it’s written deep within my face,

All the pain and memories I wish I could erase.

It’s hard to forget something that happened everyday,

It makes everything so much harder to be okay.

I may have only been your step daughter,

But what makes you thing that my hopes and dreams, you could slaughter.

I can’t close my eyes without you being there,

What I don’t get is, how can she be so unaware.

How could she not believe the truth over his lies?

She never loved me, surprise, and surprise!

I can not remember once sincere I LOVE YOU

They were all fake, all untrue.

But who needs them anyway?

It’s not like they would care if I died today.

So anyway, let’s give them a round of applause

Because in me now are so many flaws.