How serious is your relationship?

How serious is your relationship?

This question, is a little silly. I mean if I wasn't serious,  I wouldn't be in a relationship. 

I get there are a lot of younger people who are not really in a relationship,  but having sex with people, I get that, and I respect thats the way our society is going. But just having sex and being in a relationship are different. 

Anyways. Thats my bit of bitching today. Not that its really bitching. Lol.

Today, Im watching Jez and Ryan play bowls which doesnt sound so interesting,  but kinda is. :p

Its easter and I'm up at home for a few days.  Yay. :))

After everything that I have been through in my past, It sickens me when I see news stories about pedophiles who don't get convicted and then seeing people make excuses for them. Also, people who lie about being sexually abused just because they want to get at that person, Seriously  you screw it up for the rest of us who do tell truth. Fuck, it shits me, I told my story and nothing happened to that fuck head, yet I know of two other people who have lied about being sexually abused just to get someone in trouble, and they did, and despite me testifying for them, they are in prison . It shits me, I can only wish and dream of John, being in prison, but i know it'll never happen, at least not for the things he did for me anyway..

Come to think about it, if i had been able to go to court about my own abuse, maybe he would have been put in prison... Fuck, here i go, blaming myself again.. I cant keep doing this. But this is the first time i have thought about that though. I mean, the reason he didn't get charged was because of lack of evidence, If i had of actually gone to court and told my story, maybe, just maybe, a judge or jury or whatever could have seen it written on my face or whatever and he could have been charged. Because how they still charge people where they have no evidence i will never understand, mainly because, i didn't get that lucky...

Anyways... Thats my complaining for the night..

Ciao

Bits and Pieces today

First thing

People who write a status on Facebook full on bagging someone out, but doesn't actually name that certain person, I mean, of you are going to bitch about someone on Facebook  have the balls to at least name them, Better still, Don't write it on Facebook and talk to the person instead!!

Second Thing

When you are having a nice conversation with someone via text, email, Facebook or something similar, and the other person just replies with "Lol". Its like "DICKHEAD I AM TRYING TO HAVE A FUCKING CONVERSATION WITH YOU" so like, have the consideration to at least make an effort to have a conversation, or just say, i am busy, i don't want to talk right now, or don't reply,  Just don't reply with Lol!!

Third Thing

Stupid PMS symptoms!! Especially Mood Swings!!
I went home for the weekend, and spent time with Jez ( the amazing boyfriend) And I had a lovely weekend. And when I got back to Perth and snuggled in bed, I burst into tears because I missed him so much. :(
Another annoying symptom is food cravings, Always wanting to eat everything, Nom nom nom. Its like I am constantly hungry, and i will eat anything that is in my way. Also, Sore Boobs, its so annoying, and its something pain killers doesn't help with.


Forth Thing

People who say that a long distance relationship is easy!! Personally, I find it hard. I find it hard when i go and visit Jez, and then I have to leave, It breaks my heart every time. And its always hard not having him here to talk about things with, having to rely on text and Facebook for our relationship. I just want to be able to spend more time than 1 or 2 nights with him, <3


Fifth thing --- A Poem For My Lovely Mr Mouse

You are always on my mind, I wonder if I’m on yours.

I hate not being with you; trying to stay out of the wars.

I was never meant to fall for you, but I did and now I’m glad.

Hug me tight, kiss me softly; I want to spend time with you so bad.

Your amazing in every way, being together is just so amazing

I can’t wait to grow with you, and set the world on fire, blazing.

This poem is for you Jez, I hope you enjoy it,

Because I care for you more than I’ll ever admit <3 Xx

I miss You

I used to have a clear picture of where i wanted my life to go! I wanted to get my degree and work. I wanted to help teenagers, I didn't care how i did it, I was just going to do it...
Now,,,
I don't even know if i want to help people you know... I mean, I like helping people and giving advice, But I just don't know if i really want to spend the rest of my life doing that you know..I don't know if i really want to finish my degree, I just don't seem to be enjoying it anymore..

However, I have know idea what i really want to do career wise..
I honestly thought it was just the fact i had been at home for so long, and that i loved spending time with my dad, and Jez (the amazing new boyfriend), was the reason that i didn't want to come back, and that if i came back, i would realize that this is still what i want to do with my life and study and stuff, but its been two weeks, and i really don't think it is...But i am stuck as to what i do want to do... The one dream i have had my whole life, is to be a mum, and have a family. And sure, it'll happen one day, It just gets me a tad sad when i am around kids and i am playing with them and making them smile and laugh and all that jazz, I could of had that.. It just makes me want it more...

Anyways, I am going home tomorrow for the Show, and to see my Dad, and to see Jez, and i am very excited!! Even if it is only for one night. Every minuite counts.

That'll do for now i think,
Might go lay in bed and watch a movie or 2, most likely an early start in the morning,

Ciao all

xx