After everything that I have been through in my past, It sickens me when I see news stories about pedophiles who don't get convicted and then seeing people make excuses for them. Also, people who lie about being sexually abused just because they want to get at that person, Seriously  you screw it up for the rest of us who do tell truth. Fuck, it shits me, I told my story and nothing happened to that fuck head, yet I know of two other people who have lied about being sexually abused just to get someone in trouble, and they did, and despite me testifying for them, they are in prison . It shits me, I can only wish and dream of John, being in prison, but i know it'll never happen, at least not for the things he did for me anyway..

Come to think about it, if i had been able to go to court about my own abuse, maybe he would have been put in prison... Fuck, here i go, blaming myself again.. I cant keep doing this. But this is the first time i have thought about that though. I mean, the reason he didn't get charged was because of lack of evidence, If i had of actually gone to court and told my story, maybe, just maybe, a judge or jury or whatever could have seen it written on my face or whatever and he could have been charged. Because how they still charge people where they have no evidence i will never understand, mainly because, i didn't get that lucky...

Anyways... Thats my complaining for the night..

Ciao