One of those sleepless nights..

So Im like dog tired... That's a weird expression. Dog tired... I wonder how it came about.
Anyways. I am sooo tired. But i can't sleep.
So once again. New blog post. :p
Been staying at the boyfies for the last week to get my exam study done. And seeing as my exam was today, Im back at home. I don't know if its cos it feels weird not sleeping with him, or what it is.. Maybe i am just sooo tired my body is over tired. Cos i had the shittiest sleep last night. And to be honest, i don't really sleep well at leiths. But that's another story.
So my exam went okay. I really hope i didn't fail, just because everyone said that i would do so well.
Grr. There's a difference between IQ smart and EQ smart.. I may not be IQ smart but what i lack in my IQ a make up in EQ.
Just saying. I know Im not the sharpest shed in the tool, but does that really matter...
One thing that kinda bugs me about ppl, is they will say something that you dint quite know about and you'll say you don't know what they are talking about and they'll just scowl at you instead of actually telling you...

I've been pretty moody this last week. The smallest things have just made me want to cry and i can feel it welling up. Im putting it down to stress over exams and trying to find a house, but now both of them is sorted, it should be okay, So I'll see how i go this week... If not.. There could be a few other factors i won't go into just yet. I'll keep you all in suspense

But yes. I found a new place to rent. Extremely close to uni, and cheap cheap. Which is even better. I can get my savings back up. Hopefully. As long as there is no more unexpected shopping sprees. Hehe.

So Im not sure if i already told you guys or not. But no more bali. Just 3 grand of dental work that needs to be done.. My bad for not going to the dentist for 6 years. Lol.

Im more awake now than i was before. Dammit. Ohwell.
Ooh. I must go and change my address on everything now.. Lol. I must remember to do that.

Ooo also. The last thing i ordered for Leith has arrived.. Not sure if i.should give it to him now or not... Lol. We'll see how i feel next time i see him...

Anyways... I might go try to go to sleep land. Lol
I'll catch you all laters l.

Xx

Have a grand day!!
Ciao bella.

I should be studying...

I cant seem to study for my exam...

So i will write a new blog post instead. :P

Although I not sure what i am going to write. hehe

So anyways, I've been trying to find a new place to live, now that my lease here had expired.. but that is proving more difficult than i thought, With real estate agents not calling me back, and the other houses i have found on Gumtree not returning email, or calls... It is really quite frustrating, I might end up living on the street... Who knows, I might just go home fore three months until i find a house... Maybe not, To far away from Leith, :(( I don't know anymore... Something will come up.. I hope.

Apart from studying, I should really clean my room too... But I seem to be lacking motivation to do anything but sleep, and eat and facebook.. and yeah... :P


Leith and I have been going out for two months and two weeks today <3
He is pretty amazing that guy.

I know, I wrote something for him last night, and i was going to post it on his facebook wall, but I decided not to.. I'll post it here instead!!

Do you know what I love about you??

The fact you don't care that my face isn't done with make-up everyday.
The way you understand what I'm trying to say without me even saying it.
I love that you let me listen to Adam Brand, even though you do not like him.
I love that we took our sweet time actually getting together, because now it is right.
I love that you don't judge who I was, and that you understand my past.
I love that I can talk to you about pretty much everything, even though the words take a while to come out.
I love how it feels to be in your arms and you're holding me tight.
I love that we both LOVE country music.
I love that you are helping me grow into the person I want to be.
I love that you give me the strength to keep going, when I don't think I can.
I love that poem you wrote me.
I love that you put up with my randomness, even though sometimes I am pretty sure you want to shove me in a box.
I love listening to the sound of your voice.
Have I mentioned I love being in your arms??
I love your kisses.
I love that you make me happy.
I love your love for the country.
I love your cologne.
I pretty much just love how we are together.
I love that you are romantic, but not to the point where I expect it all the time, and it surprises me when you are.
I love the way you care for me so much.
I love how amazing you are to me, and that you don't realise it.
I love that when I am horrible, you still like me, and you still want to talk to me and you still care.
I love that it took us three times to actually start dating. Third time lucky.
I love how you still give me butterflies when I see you.
I love it when you make me a very sweet cup of tea..
I will love it when you make me a not so sweet cup of tea.
I love it when we are holding hands and it feels like you are mine forever.
I love the random compliments you give me.
Your sense of humour... Sometimes :P
I love that you weigh more than me and that you don't let your Spaghetti Bolognese infuse for two hours.
I love that moment I shall describe as "The Call".
I love it that I know that when I am cold, I can cuddle up to you, because you are always so warm.
I love it when you randomly bring me McChicken burgers.
I love the fact that I am into sports more that you are. Go West Coast and Holden. :P
I love that we have our kids names pick out already.
I love it when you shave for me, just because it doesn't bother me any more... This does not mean you can stop shaving :P
I love it when you try and teach me things... Like using chop sticks
I love it when you cook, Even though you always say it taste like poop, when it is actually amazing.
I love it when I get to wear your clothes.
I love that you haven't given up on me yet.
I love it when you hold me while we are sleeping.
I love how we used to go for walks at all hours of the night.
I love that night when we were laying under the swings, and that night that I didn't get home until 5am because I was having fun with you.
I love that you like my friends!
I love that your friends are amazing.
I love that you inspire me to follow my dream
I love that when I listen to songs, I hear lyrics and they remind me of you or us.
I love it when you tell me a joke, and I completely miss the punch line.
I love how all of these things I love about you, make me smile every day!

Eh, Just a few things I love about you!!
Xx

I might have to tell him he is going to have to read this post. :P

Can someone please clean my room, and maybe find me a place to live... Would be nice.. Please and thank you :P

I might just turn my music up and do some cleaning..

Ciao Bella

Xxx

Jess

Have a FABTABULOUS day!!

Thought I was doing better

Hey guys,

Ive had so much shit happening lately, I mean it hasnt all been bad, but the bad if just more at large latelt.Its kinda hard to explain it all, but I do have a poem that might explain a bit.

Ruinous memories you left me

to keep for life

left frozen under your ferociously moving hands

working their way to to your own profanes

heedless of my silenced, wrenched filled screams.

heedless of my days thereafter

your lips, they moved where they desired

your tongue, like ice cold fire

scars from the burns, obtained from your disgrace

shall remain with me to my end

this damned life you've given me

I am suppressed inside

jolted, trembling in haste filled hatred

I escaped your touch, yet here I sit

still suppressed within

here with nothing but the murderous scream of silence

no one hurt but me

listening to the scream of silence

left naked, stripped, violated and empty

still voided, lewd and bare

So yeah, 

Hopefully I work this shit out soon, I am thinking about goign back to counselling, but there was i reason i left in the first place, talking about this, it kills me, i cant do it, it so hard. 

But i know i have to, Not just more my sake, But for Leith, and the people around me, and for the future people i will know, but most importantly (other than me) is our future children.

Im going to leave it there,

Sorry about not being in touch so often, I'll try and be back and let you know whats happening.

xx