I miss You

I used to have a clear picture of where i wanted my life to go! I wanted to get my degree and work. I wanted to help teenagers, I didn't care how i did it, I was just going to do it...
Now,,,
I don't even know if i want to help people you know... I mean, I like helping people and giving advice, But I just don't know if i really want to spend the rest of my life doing that you know..I don't know if i really want to finish my degree, I just don't seem to be enjoying it anymore..

However, I have know idea what i really want to do career wise..
I honestly thought it was just the fact i had been at home for so long, and that i loved spending time with my dad, and Jez (the amazing new boyfriend), was the reason that i didn't want to come back, and that if i came back, i would realize that this is still what i want to do with my life and study and stuff, but its been two weeks, and i really don't think it is...But i am stuck as to what i do want to do... The one dream i have had my whole life, is to be a mum, and have a family. And sure, it'll happen one day, It just gets me a tad sad when i am around kids and i am playing with them and making them smile and laugh and all that jazz, I could of had that.. It just makes me want it more...

Anyways, I am going home tomorrow for the Show, and to see my Dad, and to see Jez, and i am very excited!! Even if it is only for one night. Every minuite counts.

That'll do for now i think,
Might go lay in bed and watch a movie or 2, most likely an early start in the morning,

Ciao all

xx