1 exam down, 1 more to go. Then Off to spend time with my Daddy. Whom I love very very much. He brought me a new mop bucket!!! : ) Like I said True Love.
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| This is me and my Dad a few months back. |
You may have noticed in the picture, I havnt much hair on my head, This is why...
I had the original notion in my head, that shaving my head would be fun and I actually like being bald, So I told my Best friend at the time, Jasmine, That Iwas going to shave my hair, She started asking me all these questions asking why, then I started to think deeper about why i wanted to shave my hair, and I honestly dont know why but I came to the conclusion I didnt want to be me, But really, I just wanted to be happy and I knew that shaving my head would achieve that, Anyway, we had a huge argument over it, And didn't speak for probably 2 maybe 3 weeks, Which is hard when you live with each other. Anyways, This is me with know hair.... Drum Roll
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| Pretty Sexy if I dont say so myself. :) |
Anyways lets get back to today
So much has been happening and I have know idea where to start. I dont like it very much when life gets like this, At least its only once a month these days, And only last a few days. I just wish I knew my triggers...
This thing with David, is proving to be more complicated than I thought it would be. Stupid me for thinking I could have a relationship I guess, I am the one who messes things up constantly. But it is always with the truth, So I'm not seeing how this works. Truth, for me,always caused more harm than good it seems.
Dilemma, Speak the truth, and cause pain to mostly myself, or Dont speak the Truth and cause pain to all those who are involved... Actually I think in this particular situation I may have hurt David by speaking the truth to late it seems, But it took me so long to work things out in my head.
So tonight, with all my pent up frustration over this situation, anger at myself for being so stupid, worry about the future, and a certain loved ones health, I decided to go for a jog. It turns out my jog was more of a 3km sprint. This was soooooooo stupid, I havnt run in about 11 months, I am still recovering from an Achilles injury and I am in so much pain. I guess this pain is better than other self inflicted pains. I am dreading waking up tomorrow though, it is going to be worse, But Now that I have started running, I must continue, I might just take it a little slower next time.
I wish for two super powers, 1, to see into the future and 2, to be able to read minds. Now both of these would have their disadvantages but sometimes the disadvantages become the advantages.
But today wasnt all bad, After our exam this morning, A group of us all went into the city, And i brought a new Hat, I think it is pretty Amazing and So me!!
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| Here Comes Trouble |
I have decided that I am going to share with you tonight a poem that I have written,
This Poem is Called This Little Girl I wrote it early 2011.
This Little Girl
A little girl sad and alone
Cold and stiff like a stone
Tears run down her pretty little face
She can’t stand the feeling of his terrifying embrace
She knows what is about to come
And sadly nothing can be done
She knows it hurts, she knows its scary
She closes her eyes and pretends she is a fairy
She did this for a full 8 years
Hiding from everyone the pain, the tears
See, this man got away with what he did
He changed the life of this poor innocent kid
She relives it everyday in her mind
Trying to struggle free from his bind
This little girl, not so little anymore
Still lives through the memories, so there, so raw
What this man did hurts like a knife
He may as well have taken her life
From time to time she will see his face
At a park, at school or just any place
She get a chill to the bone
She thinks and wonders, will he follow me home
Once you have been violated in such way
You can’t help but to think, he will get me one day
Know matter what happens, he could be dead
Those years of your life are forever in your head
There is something in this you don’t see
The little girl in this story, She’s me
Anyways, Mega Tiredness here, I am off to Sleep. I will try and post once more before i head to the country to see my Daddy, As we get very limited reception our there.
Thanks for staying with me guys. Much Love
Speak Kind Words Xx
Jessica
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