Hey Hey guys,
How have you all been??
I am serious, Take amount to reflect how you all have been!! Have you been good, bad, reasonably well? i dunno, I just wanna make sure you are all keeping yourselves well.
Overall I have been well!! Kinda has a spaz moment on Tuesday, But I am really glad i have an amazing, supportive, caring, kind hearted, stubborn boyfie!! If it wasnt for him, i dont know what i would have done! Probably ended up in hospital or jail....
I guess i should probably explain to you guys what happened...
On Monday night Leith and I were texting having a relatively serious conversation, and I was trying to say something, but no matter how i worded it it just didnt sound right, so i told him its not something i wanted to say to his face, so we decided that we would catch up the next day (Tuesday) So pretty much all of Tuesday i was so nervous, and to make it worse, there was a guy at uni, who is a bit of a douche, who just wouldnt leave things alone, it pissed me off a little. Anyways, Leith picked me up from uni, and all i really wanted to tell him was how much this relationship is scaring me, and i am trying to hard not to runaway because i want things to work, Then we kinda of moved into things about my past i hadnt told anyone before, and thats about the point i got extremly angry.. Like more angry than i have ever been before, I was pretty certain i could have punched something and stab someone.
So amungst my fit of rage, Leith decided that we needed to go for a drive, SO we drove about 200k outta perth and ended up on a gravel road, on which we got out of the ute and layed on it looking at the starts. <3 Its was quite a nice feeling, Then at around midnight when we decided it was time to go home, we jumped back into the ute and headed home...
Then I told Leith about something that happened in my past that i hadnt told anyone else before. Not even you guys, and i am still not going to tell you guys, But anyways, Leith then Kinda got a touch angry, And by touch angry, i mean, pull off the road, stop, get out, punch the ute, get back in, kinda angry, Then we stood outside for about an hour talking about it all.
Then we decided we should probably head home, By the time we got back to my place it was like 3 in the morning, So i let Leith stay at mine, seaming as he had to get up in two hours, and if he drove home he would have had to have turned around again and go straight back to work.
So that was Tuesday/Wednesday, The rest of my wednesday, after i eventually got to sleep at like 6 in the morning when Leith left, I woke up at like 11, and then just did some study,
It was Wednesday night though, that I had the scariest dream of my life, I had this guy chasing me, and i was at the train station in perth, and all of a sudden i was laying on the ground while this guy raped me, All i really remember from the dream though was the guy trying to force his tongue down my throat, but i wouldnt open my mouth and his was just like licking my face. When i woke up i was so freaking scared, I didnt go to uni that day, I kinda just stayed home and layed in bed all day texting the boyfie, who was mean and woke me up. :p
Then onto friday, Friday I have to get up at stupid oclock (6am) to get to uni on time, But that was all good, I had a relatively good day uni, except for the both times i ordered coffer my order was wrong, :( ohs well. Then Leith picked me up from uni and we drove to Bindoon to house sit for a friend, And that kinda brings us to know....
Right now Leithykins is asleep on the couch, while i am sitting here typing, :p He is quietly snoring to himself. Its rather cute. ^__^ Dont tell him i said that. :p
I kinda wanna talk about something, without going into to much detail about, But last night, Leith and i were in bed together, and we were doing stuff (not sex) and it kinda triggered a memory, and for a while i was fine, (about 10 minutes) and all of a sudden, i just got this shocking pain in my stomach, like i have been im pretty bad pain before, but that was so excruciating i honestly felt like i could probably die, I dunno, no i have had some time to think about it all, i am thinking Leith was right, (yes i am admitting he is right) and it was all just stress related kinda thing, And where as i have kinda in a way, had this pain before, it was nowhere on this level, I guess it was kinda similar to a panic attack, but it was so scary, and i had no idea what was happening, It took about 2 hours for it to settle down, Leith wanted to take me to the hospital but i said no, actually i am pretty sure i said no about 100 times, we were just both being stubborn, He just cares for me, I know, but yh, its not really something i am too used to, having someone care, well at least that much anyway. <3 Xx I kinda just feel bad for making him worry so much.
Anyways, I think thats enough of drama for one week in a blog, So i shall let you all get back to your lives
Speak Kind Words Xx
JessXx
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